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DO NOT print this out to share with people you don't even actually like unless you are an absolute jerk. Every time you don't print something, you are helping the environment.

NO ANIMALS were harmed in the transmission or creation of this message, although the old mutt next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.

General Warnings: No matter how good they may look to you now - someone somewhere is sick and tired of all their Bulls**t. Spelling errors in this message are the product of a poor school system. Pay teachers MORE money than athletes.

Government Warning: We are corrupt and have sold out to corporate interest. Do not listen to our advice.

The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is yours to draw...

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no...

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