Help, my logic board is possessed!

Il Mio Problema

Macbook Pro Retina was stuck in boot chime and unresponsive.

La Mia Riparazione

The repair was easy, but the laptop must have come from a company known as "Mindbody" as I keep getting prompts to let the laptop enroll me in some DEP.

Il Mio Consiglio

First boot had the "question mark folder" on the screen, then asked if I wanted to "update from the network", which was the only choice presented with pressing the option button. The next boot I was able to use an installation USB jump drive to install OS X High Sierra. Laptop is lightning fast with the aforementioned prompt the only hassle. I'm sure I'll find the solution to get rid of that eventually.